THE WET winters of the West Country are not doing my mother any good, what with the fogs and the bogs and her ailments. So I decided that it was right and proper for her only son to give her retirement some direction.

On my last visit, gales howling outside, I pulled out the brochures to show her what she could get if she sold up and headed for the tropics. At first she was not too pleased with my suggested destination. “Panama?” she squeaked. Well, I have done my research and I can tell you that in my opinion Panama is just about the best place in the world you can retire to, pound for pound. It may be only ten times the size of Devon, but it packs a lot of natural beauty into those 78,000 sq km. It has volcanoes and rainforests, exotic flora and fauna and amazing beaches. Even if you are not a canal nut, the climate is perfect and the people are friendly, plus the country has been given the highest tourists’ safety rating from Pinkerton, the security firm. The cost of living is low, but best of all, the Government is seeking retired people from all over the world. With the establishment of the “Pensionado Programme”, it is practically begging pensioners to move there.

Under the programme, pensioners need to have an income of only $500 (£260) a month from their pension to qualify for extraordinary benefits, which include up to 50 per cent discount on hotels from Monday to Thursday and a 25 per cent discount on utility bills and restaurant prices.

Once my mother had realised that the economy of Panama is stable because the legal tender is the US dollar, I could see her beginning to warm to the idea. Particularly when I pointed out that gardeners charge less than a dollar an hour. But, she ventured, what about healthcare? Thanks to its historic close ties with the United States, I expounded, the country had a first-class infrastructure and lots of US-franchised businesses, but most importantly there were “many English-speaking or US-trained doctors”. As part of the pensionado scheme, there are also reductions in the cost of healthcare.

All that remained to close the deal was to choose from the wide variety of locations in which to buy her dream home. Would it be the Pacific coast? A secret island in the Gulf of Panama? Or perhaps something in the beautiful Chiriquí highlands of Boquete, with its permanent spring-like climate? My own preference, which I was steering her gently towards, was the Bocas del Toro archipelago on Panama’s Caribbean coast , where beachfront property is still available at incredibly low prices.

I had taken the liberty of contacting several estate agents in Panama to obtain a range of particulars. First up was Bocas del Mar, a new eco-friendly development that was being built on the beach. What could be better than small villas built around their own nature reserve that “gives the feeling of living in a tropical jungle”? Prices started at $140,000, plus it had the benefit of handymen on call. Sadly it was dismissed with a shake of the head. Apparently my mother does not want to live in gated retirement with polyester-clad Americans.

Thinking that it was authenticity she wanted, I was ready with the beachcombers’ shack. Hidden away on Isla Grande, an island in the Caribbean, it fronted the beach, and with four bedrooms there was plenty of room for grandchildren to stay. It was a perfect retreat, and with an asking price of only $80,000 there would be enough cash left over for a boat to tie up at her very own dock. Unfortunately, it would seem that she has developed a firm dislike of both boats and islands. The task was growing more impossible by the minute, until I played my trump card: coffee. She loves the stuff and drinks it all the time. What better place to live than a coffee-growing region? The Chiriquí highlands are famous for their plantations and the altitude would shelter her from the excesses of the tropical heat. The Venezuelan-style two-bedroom property offered by Panorama Real Estate was $385,000 and within her budget.

My mother slept on the idea, then informed me that despite all my research she had decided to stay put. She ignored the facts, the figures, the airline schedules, even the fantastic Pensionado Programme. It was all thrown back in my face. Reeling, I contemplated the defeat of my best-laid plans until I had a brainwave: my mother-in-law. She loves coffee too . . .

• Details of the Pensionado Programme are available from the Panama Consulate, 020-7409 2255, www.panaconsul.com or Henley & Partners, www.henleyglobal.com; bungalows and villas at Bocas del Mar are available from Business Panama Group www.businesspanama.com; beachcombers’ house on Isla Grande from Happy Whale, www.happywhale.com; two-bed villa in Chiriquí highlands from Panorama Real Estate www.panoramapanama.com

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