Hello? Is anybody out there? Who’ll buy my house? Come on, guys! It’s a really good buy. Well, there’s an Aga. And it’s (quite) near the new Olympic “hub”. But estate agents in Islington all pull long faces when I turn up.

Drop the price by £50,000, one said. You must be kidding, I told him. Think of my overdraft. So, I think to myself, if we can’t sell it, we will continue renting it out for the time being. But I would like to flog it before the next general election. And there are plenty of people out there like me, only in more of a hurry. So deals are being struck.

For investors keen on snapping up rentable property, the market is really quite juicy. But only, I hear, for the big guys. “The market is more reliant than ever on the bulk investor,” says property consultant and investor Geoff Marsh. “Little investors are still there, a few of them, but most have gone away, because if you aren’t buying at a substantial discount, the arithmetic doesn’t work.

“Take a big Irish investor. These guys are buying from developers with 15%-20% discounts because they are buying in bulk. They borrow in euros with 3.5% borrowing costs and expect rental yields of 4% gross. So they will be breaking even on day one. Whereas, if you are a small investor borrowing in sterling and getting less discount, the maths doesn’t work.”

I get on to Mark von Grundherr at Benham & Reeves Lettings. He is very excited. “I’ve just rented a flat in Paddington Basin to Orlaith from Big Brother!” Fine, but I’m interested in investors who are buying rental property. “Big investors are out there, but they are all looking at hot spots with potential for capital growth, such as the area around the Olympic Village, or at getting massive discounts. Otherwise, there is no point.”

Take Nick Walters from property investment company Artesian, which is buying buy-to-let flats in Earlsfield, south London. Maybe it will buy 10, maybe it will buy 14 or 15. However, the point is that when smaller investors are keeping their heads down and waiting to see if the market dips any further, big players such as Artesian are doing deals. It is focusing on the sub-£250,000 market: in other words, below the stamp-duty threshold. Two-bedders for £245,000, one-bedders for £200,000.

“We are finding stuff knocked down by as much as £20,000,” says Walters. He has strict criteria. “We look for flats that don’t need refurbishing, things that are readily resellable and on quiet streets. People have had these flats on at unrealistic prices. We tell them £250K is our limit, and we are prepared to walk away.”

Walters is prepared to sit it out for capital growth. “We are looking at medium- to long-term growth. We want to see how Earlsfield gets on in the next three to four years.”

Walters figures Earlsfield is undervalued with significant potential for further capital growth, unlike neighbouring Wimbledon, Wandsworth and Clapham, which are already very pricey. “We feel it is an underdeveloped area, a small enclave near central London with good transport links.” And with purchase prices so relatively cheap, Walters hopes to reap gross rental yields of about 5.5%, because rents are at last coming good.

David Parris, operations director of Jackson-Stops & Staff, which has been handling the Artesian deals, agrees. “One-bedroom flats in Earlsfield take £800-£900 a month in rent. Two-bedders are being rented out for £900-£1,100 a month. Rental values over the past year have increased by 5%-6%.”

What about capital growth? “I haven’t seen anybody going into buy-to-let for short-term gain recently. You need to be careful about trying to make money in 12 months, which is where a lot of people made money on buy-to-let five years ago. In the short term, I’d hesitate to say there was any capital growth. In the medium to long term, I am sure there will be. All I can say is that offers (trade jargon for buying discounts) are being accepted,” says Parris. “Investors know the market is subdued and that they shouldn’t be paying prices that they might have done 12 months ago. But a lot of buy-to-let deals are dictated by the return and, because rents have perked up, if investors work out they can get their 5%-6% gross yield return, they will calculate it’s worth it.”

Which means that big investors are buying, but with a sizeable discount, keeping prices across the market low. Is this a problem? Not necessarily, suggests Marsh.

“People like Artesian are buying at such significant discounts that, yes, they are undercutting the market. But the fact that they are buying helps because, statistically, it will show that the volume of sales has gone up. So it will, in effect, bring confidence back to the market, which will stabilise things significantly.”

So, I should be grateful that people are sniffing around for deals, because it will mean more work for estate agents, which will mean everybody looks just that bit more busy, which will mean that people might start having faith in bricks and mortar again, which will mean that good times are just around the corner.

Or something like that. It’s a complicated merry-go-round, this property game.

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