Weddings aren't what they were. Apart from the fact that there are fewer of them (from the department of useless information comes the fact that in 1850 there were 27 marriages per 1,000 unmarried individuals, while in 2005 there were just 12), those pledging their troth are mostly older than in years gone by. Which is why the wedding list, the essential prop of the Sloane Ranger, has had to change and evolve.

When I got married (way back when), most couples were, like us, poor and unencumbered by the things then considered essential for married life.

Casseroles, salad bowls, silver candlesticks, placemats (eeek!), matching china and glass were what featured on the lists of the day. I remember that skiing holidays introduced us all to the delights of the fondue and Elizabeth David had induced in us a desire for all that pure white ovenware in which we could cook things nobody cooks any more — eggs en cocotte, escargots and the like. It was a wedding list, I remember, of essentials, and few of the presents we were given were luxuries (those that were — a Mary Potter painting, some antique silver salt and pepper sets, later stolen, and a fine set of suitcases — were memorable).

A look at Liberty's Gift Brochure of 1960, which many couples at the time consulted for their wedding lists, shows how much tastes have changed. The catalogue is littered with the sort of dinky floral-spattered china to which none of us would give house room these days and there is a spattering of austerely dull Danish stainless steel wares (servers, platters, strainers and the like) that put me off anything Danish for years, not to mention placemats with scenes of Olde London. Most of us, though, would have been thrilled by the Teppaz portable gramophone (£31 10s — a lot of money at the time) in those pre-iPod days, and the stuffed pigskin pig (£12 8s) is apparently a best-seller to this day, though it now costs £325.

Fast-forward to the next century and what do we find? Prosperity on an infinitely greater scale. Add that to the fact that many couples get married at a later age, when both have flats or houses that are fully equipped, and it's no wonder the statutory items on the wedding list have changed hugely.

Some couples want for so little that, like Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones, they ask for nothing but books or for wine. A few even ask for cash (not in our book a permissible thing to do). The Wedding Shop in Chelsea (020-7838 1188) reports that brides and grooms have much more informal tastes today. They still like things like hand-carved salad bowls (though the provenance and nature of the wood are important) but no longer do the complete dinner set or matching glasses figure on the list. Instead, couples ask for things that are decorative or luxurious, that would add lustre to the things they already own.

Wedding Presents Direct (020-7622 6300) says that couples with their own establishments who get married sometimes ask for more luxurious versions of the essentials ­ finer linen, better china, more interesting glass. And they are much clearer about their likes and dislikes (wonder how many relationships founder on the choice of cut-glass or plain, stainless steel or solid silver).

Meanwhile, Liberty (020-7734 1234, www.liberty.co.uk) has addressed changing tastes with its rather avant-garde Wedding and Gift list service, which launches this month. Since Liberty has been positioning itself as the store for those who are interested in design, it is no surprise that its list features some of today's most well-known designers. There's a Thomas & Vines yellow flocked chandelier for £395, a Bodo Sperlein canvas vase at £525 or David Mellor green Chinese cutlery (fork, £11.50; knife, £13.50; spoon, £9.50). A Ukiyo tray table is £275, a Jeremy Cole blossom light £985, and Prouve chair from Vitra £475. Moving onwards and upwards (today's prosperous couples seem to be rather blasé about prices), the list offers the chance to give a Patricia Urquiola (she's very hot, as any design expert will know) chair for £1,430, or a funky Jimmie Martin gold cocktail cabinet for £2,995.

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