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Starting from scratch
If your garden is large enough, include a lawn. It makes the ideal surface for playing in bare feet and ensures a soft landing for tumbles. As your children get older it will be used for ball games, so choose a hard-wearing seed mix or turf that is predominantly made up of dwarf rye-grass species.
Encourage wildlife into the garden by using native plants or nectar-rich flowers within the design — or by dedicating space to a meadow, prairie-style planting or, if you are on wet ground, a bog garden. Also add a child-friendly water feature, such as a contemporary rill or a pebble fountain. Creatures will come to drink from it and children will love splashing about in the shallow water or floating leaf boats down the rill. Ponds are fascinating places to watch tadpoles, newts and insects, but deep water can pose a danger to toddlers and young children — build one when they are older. Fix bug boxes to walls or fences, and put out feeding stations for birds — children will like leaving them edible presents.
Make an area for dining. Let a grape vine rampage over a rustic pergola. Children love to watch the grapes ripen and then pick their own dessert.
Make deep borders using big leafy exotics, shrubs and trees, and create narrow, serpentine paths (or a willow tunnel) among them as places to hide and play chasing games. Avoid putting spiky-leaved tropical plants, such as agaves, where children can easily scratch themselves or be poked in their eyes. Some of my favourite leafy or flowering plants happen to be toxic, but I will still use them if they have the look I'm after. Don't nanny children — just make sure they know what they can't eat or touch.
Find space for unobtrusive play equipment. Trampolines that sit flush with the lawn are ideal.
Making the garden more fun
Children are quite territorial, so give them a box where they can keep their own gardening tools. There are lots of bright, compact ones — I love the blunt-ended Percy the Park Keeper range (for stockists, visit www.brio.net).
Give children a patch where they can grow vegetables or flowers. Don't give them the worst bit of land — nothing will grow and they will soon lose interest. Mark their bed by putting pebbles around the edges; make a wooden sign with their name painted on the front.
Growing in pots is simple whatever size garden you have. Use big containers that will be chest-height to a child. Grow sweet peas up a pyramid of canes in the centre of a pot; plant herbs and broad beans around the edges — children love to open the pods to find out what's inside.
Pint-sized sheds or Wendy houses make great hiding places and can be used to stash tools and toys. Give your child ownership by painting it; a nice mossy shade is ideal. Finish it off by hanging a plaque with their name on it over the door.
Have a worm bin — children love watching them wriggling about. The Can-O-Worms from Wiggly Wigglers starts from around £60 (01981 500391; www.wigglywigglers.co.uk).
Use the garden to celebrate events or holidays — eg, add eerie lighting and hang skeletons for a Hallowe'en party.
Learn to relax. Allow the children to get messy. Most kids love making mud pies, digging holes in borders or collecting petals in an old bucket to make their own perfume.

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