So you are planning to grow your own veg? You will find, as I did when I started last year, that the expert advice is far too expert for the real beginner. So here, for the total amateur, are what I consider to be the absolute basics.

First, you will need: cheap pots in varying sizes, including tiny ones; seeds; a big bag of compost; a fork and trowel; watering can. You are ready to go.

Next: water. It may seem obvious, but I had no idea how important watering was, especially when your seeds are germinating — twice a day in hot weather.

Then, labelling. Write on the pot, stick a marker in — but you must record what is in there. You think you are bound to remember. You won't. And if you are a novice, you will not recognise that seedling when it does appear. Yes, they are all green. Except red cabbage and purple sprouts, but they look identical, too.

Mine’s bigger than yours

It’s shovels at dawn at the village hall, as the vegetable showing season reaches its peak

BACKGROUND

• Vegging Out: how to start a vegetable patch

• Enjoying the fruits — and veg — of your labour

• Get plotting

• Your midsummer sowing guide

Related Internet Links

• How to start a vegetable garden

The vegetable patch

Have you grown a prize parsnip or a trophy tomato? Send us a picture - we'll showcase the best

BACKGROUND

• Growing kinds of chilli. . .

• Go ahead, pack it in

• Seeds of change

• Dolce vita on a plate

• Salad days that last forever

BACKGROUND

• Salad days that last forever

• Grow your own meals

• Dolce vita on a plate

• Go ahead, pack it in

• Seeds of change

A good book, I think, would be my next tip. The Which? Gardening Guide to Growing Your Own Vegetables (out of print; look on Amazon) if possible. Perhaps one more book to cover anything they miss out — and no more. Because all the books contradict one another and you will just get irritated.

Choose your veg carefully. I intend soon to suggest a list of those vegetables which offer the greatest return for the least effort, but for now, think tomatoes and lettuces — good, almost foolproof; herbs such as basil and rosemary — easy and impressive; French, runner and broad beans — fine if you have room; courgettes and other squash — fantastic if you have lots of space; sweetcorn or anything that delivers just one cob per seed — bad; anything fancy (okra, fennel, aubergine) — very bad. Not until you've got past round one at least.

Not all seeds work. Sow about double what you need and assume half of them won't grow, but don't oversow. Or if you do, be prepared to chuck away the weaker ones. You cannot manage 35 tomato plants. Or, indeed, eat them.

Snails: watch them. They get into everything and gobble it up. A reader tells me that pine cones around your veg will stop them getting in.

And finally, don't worry if things die. It means you have less to water.

Good luck!

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