Clearing out a house when a relative dies is a task no one welcomes. You can call in a house clearance firm, but most of us want some input into disposing of a special person's home. The key thing is not to do the job alone. Enlist the help of relatives and friends. Work in pairs on one room at a time. Allow a half to one day per room.

Jason Mohr, who runs the house clearance firm Any Junk (020-8877 1155, www.anyjunk.co.uk), suggests a traffic light system: “With coloured stickers (red for ‘keep', orange for ‘sell/donate', green for ‘bin'), go round the house and label everything you see. Afterwards group all the reds, oranges and greens together. Then you can really see what you are dealing with.”

Above all, keep a sense of humour. When a close friend died, my grandmother chose her padded lavatory seat as a memento: “I've always had my eye on that, now I can sit on it too.”

WHAT THE LAW SAYS

When someone dies, the person responsible for administering the estate usually has to obtain a grant of representation from the Probate Agency to proceed. There are three such grants: probate, issued to one or more executors named in a will to deal with the estate; letters of administration, when there is a will but no executor named, or the executors are unable or unwilling to apply for the grant; and letters of administration when there is no will or the will is not valid. Houses and valuables should not be disposed of until grant of representation is issued. A guide to probate is available to download at www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/cms/wills.htm, or call the probate and inheritance tax helpline on 0845 3020900.

HOW TO DEAL WITH RELATIVES

Distributing objects of sentimental value is a minefield. Keep all “special” things together, then invite interested parties to choose what they would like. Write a round-robin note or e-mail with details of who wants what, and circulate it well before things are handed over. Then everyone knows that proceedings are above board.

WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE READY

Be mentally and emotionally prepared. Anjula Sharma, a helpline manager at Cruse Bereavement Care, advises: “You can only really clear a house when you are ready. Some people might do it straight away, then six months later start grieving for all the things they got rid of because they remind them of the person they lost. Ask yourself: are you prepared to go into the property, have a look at what is there, and sort it? If you're not, then wait a while.” Help the Aged publishes a downloadable leaflet on dealing with bereavement at www.helptheaged.org.uk

RECYCLE WHAT YOU CAN ...

Do not assume that charity shops will take everything - many, for example, will not take electrical items or furniture. Jason Mohr estimates that only 5 per cent of items donated make it onto the shelves. The rest is sent for recycling, to charities abroad or landfill sites. Find out more via the national recycling network www.reuze.co.uk. Check out the Furniture Re-use Network, www.frn.org.uk , if you have large furniture.

...AND CHUCK THE REST

Hire a disposal/house clearance company. The cost will depend on what the stuff is worth to the firm if it is sold on; get two or three quotes; deal with only those who will take it all. Check the operators are reputable, licensed and insured against damage. If goods are fly-tipped, you may be liable for prosecution. Alternatives are car trips to the local dump, hiring skips (expensive), or calling the local council, which may charge a fee for collection.

IS IT WORTH ANYTHING?

Doing a car boot sale will not make you rich. Try selling good-quality things on eBay, and small ads in local newspapers can be effective. If there are pieces worth auctioning, Steven Denley-Hill, past president of the National Association of Valuers and Auctioneers (www.nava.org.uk ) advises: “Always get hold of the auction house closest to the property. Make sure it is a member of a recognised trade body. Anyone knows in their heart if something is worth anything. If you wouldn't have it in your house, chances are nobody else would want it in theirs.” Clear the house quickly of valuables to head off burglars. Remove jewellery, antiques, pictures, porcelain and anything “collectable”.

Within weeks of my aunt's death someone had appropriated her address to register a stolen vehicle. Shred all papers not needed by the solicitor and find out how to combat identity theft at www.identitytheft.org.uk . And ensure the home contents policy is still valid.

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