PLAYGROUND MAFIA
Dulwich is renowned for its blue-chip independent schools (Dulwich College, Alleyn’s, JAGS) and the alpha mums are the neighbourhood’s lifeblood, whizzing their charges from school gate to violin practice to French Immersion class with barely time for an organic apple juice. Mum, Dad and any number of pupils live in one of the Victorian terraces or 1930s semis off the main street. Prices start at half a million for a small two-bedroom terrace on Calton Avenue or Turney Road and leap to £1.2 milion-plus for a large 1930s semi on Burbage Road. Loft extensions can be a bore, what with having to apply to the Dulwich Estate for permission for alterations, but it’s well worth it for the proximity to Dulwich Infants School (if you’re paying through the nose later, you want the early years for free).

FRIENDS AND DEVOTEES
The beautiful, Sir John Soane-designed Dulwich Picture Gallery is the hub of local social and cultural life (along with Dulwich & Sydenham Hill Golf Club) and its Friends run it like clockwork, from garden parties to film clubs. This is the trad set, the postcode-perfect group that has been here for generations and holds in its clutches some of the best houses in South London. Don’t expect any chat over the garden fence about equity, however: residents are far too well bred to mention that when they bought, oh, an age ago, their Georgian gem cost less than the current price of a studio in Dalston. Harvey & Wheeler recently sold Tappen House, one of Dulwich’s dozen or so remaining Georgian properties, for about £3 million. It may be some time before the next comes up for sale.

THE RELUCTANT CELEBRITY
The very opposite of the Notting Hill celeb, the Dulwich variety of the species has no interest in being admired — or namechecked in articles like this — which is why he or she is so damn hard to spot. Hang out in the village repeatedly, however, and you’ll see household-name actors and comedians queuing for fairy cakes in the park café or doing the school run in their 4x4. There are strictly no personalised number plates to be seen here, and glossies are very definitely not invited into any lovely homes — too filled with the chaos of real, unstaged family living and, in any case, the neighbours would disapprove of such shenanigans. Incoming celebs might go for a double-fronted Victorian towards Herne Hill (around the £1.1 million mark for pretty Stradella Road) or — if one ever comes up for sale again — a contemporary Huf Haus overlooking Dulwich Park (sold between £1.1 million and £1.4 million at launch in 2003; the sky’s the limit as to their current value).

DULWICH WANNABES
The village proper is circled by less exclusive areas that offer rather more “real” charms: first, the North Dulwich Triangle (created by estate agents to denote the area between Half Moon Lane, Red Post Hill and Herne Hill). You’ll get considerably more for your money here (White Estates has a four-bed Victorian house on Ferndene Road for £550,000), and a more convenient commute to the City via either North Dulwich station (London Bridge) or Herne Hill (Blackfriars). All in all, a perfectly satisfactory compromise, if you can just stop agonising over whether to move to Buckinghamshire. East Dulwich, meanwhile, is shooting up in value thanks to its boutique shopping and chef-owned restaurants (£450,000 or more for a basic three-bedroom Victorian house off Lordship Lane), with neighbouring Peckham Rye closing the gap fast. In the other direction, Poet’s Corner is desirable for its mixed, Bohemian air, Brockwell Lido, and the short walk to that most elusive of southeast London landmarks, the Tube (Brixton).
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