Jeremy Clarkson
MPH 2008
Your last chance to get tickets to Top Gear Live
Navigation - link to other main sections from here
From
September 9, 2007
Skoda Roomster
Don’t call it ugly, call it quite brilliant
I daresay we all remember the bad old days when you came back from the shops with a new and exciting electrical appliance. And found it had been sold without a plug.
Nowadays, though, thanks to the exciting Plugs and Sockets (Safety) Regulations 1994 (No 1768) any domestic appliance with a flexible cable must be fitted with a plug and the plug must be fitted with a fuse link that conforms to BS 1362.
As a result, you now come back from the shops to find that your shiny new toy has a plug. But that, unfortunately, the product itself hasn’t actually been built.
Last weekend I bought some outdoor lights for the garden. Except I didn’t. What I actually bought was a box full of pieces that could be turned into some outdoor lights for the garden. By anyone with a simple degree in mechanical and electrical engineering.
Of course, there were some poor-quality instructions which explained that all you needed to assemble your quality product was fingers like cocktail sticks and six and a half thousand tools that you do not own.
It was truly and genuinely extraordinary to find how little had been done at the factory. And this is not a one off. These days we see exactly the same thing with furniture and all children’s toys. The outdoor garden heater I bought back in May, to annoy George Monbiot, is still in its box in six bits because I simply cannot fathom how they all go together.
Of course I commend any company that can maximise its profits and quench the thirst of its shareholders. This is all excellent and makes the world go round, but implying on the box that the customer is buying a garden heater when in fact he’s buying a box of pieces: that’s flirting with fraud.
How long will it be before the box contains nothing but some iron ore, a piece of the Russian gas fields and 6,000 miles of pipeline? How long before Ikea sells you a tree in Finland and a saw? And as we edge slowly towards the meat of this morning’s missive, how long before car makers catch on to the idea that people are idiots.
At present it costs the car makers a fortune to assemble a car. The parts are made elsewhere and then nailed together by billion-dollar robots at the plant. So how long will it be before Ford notices what’s going on in the garden lamp industry and simply ships the components directly to your home. Along with a scrappy instruction book, saying, in French, that all you need to put everything together is some oxyacetylene, basic arc welding skills, and a robot.
This isn’t as far fetched as you might imagine, because already almost all the cars we buy are made in kit form. The Aston Martin DB9 is a case in point. It was specifically designed so that the basic structure could be clothed in a different body and sold as something else. The V8 Vantage, for example.
Then there’s the Rolls-Royce Phantom. It is built in the British factory like an Airfix kit, using parts that come in boxes from the BMW plant in Germany. Great. But think how much cheaper it would be to deliver those boxes straight to your door. Along, perhaps, with some walnut and 14 cows that you’ll need to skin and turn into seats. All you need is a large potato peeler and a sewing machine.
The ultimate kit car, though, is the Volkswagen Golf. Its underpinnings are used to make lots of other Volkswagens, like the Beetle, as well as by Audi, Seat and Skoda.
Sometimes I wonder why anyone actually buys the Daddy because it’s possible to buy what’s essentially an identical car. Usually for a lot less.
But then when I look at those identical cars I stop wondering. I mean, it’s all very well imagining that your new Seat is made from Golf parts but it was assembled by Spaniards. And that’s like buying a garden lamp that has been assembled by me. Yes, it’s cheap, but every time you turn it on you will be electrocuted.
Skoda, however, is different. As we know from all the excellent new houses that are being built in Britain these days, the eastern Europeans are fine engineers. It is in their culture, somehow.
So a collection of German parts made by Petr Cech: that should be pretty good. The only problem is that Skoda has never actually made something brilliant enough to overcome the Primark badge on the back. Until now . . . Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the Roomster.
Ordinarily, there is nothing on God’s earth quite as depressing as a mini-MPV. Whether it’s a Renault Scénic or a Citroën Picasso or that truly terrible Toyota Yaris van, we know that you are biding your time until you are unlocked from the shackles of life by the blissful relief of death.
We know that your life has turned out to be nowhere near as successful or as happy as you’d hoped. We know that you have no imagination. And we know that you have no sense either, because a mini-MPV offers exactly the same number of seats as a normal car.
We can deduce from this that you’ve spent more money on something which comes with a bit more headroom. And what’s the point of that, unless your children are actually giraffes. And if they are giraffes, then you are plainly way too interesting to waste your life in a bloody MPV.
The only exceptions to this rule, thus far, have been the Ford S-Max and the Citroën Berlingo: two genuinely clever and appealing cars. But the Roomster is better still.
First of all there’s the price. It’s just £13,500. And for that you get – yes – a Skoda badge. But you also get alloy wheels, antilock brakes, a full-length glass roof, rear parking sensors, an alarm, cruise control, curtain and side airbags, electric windows and door mirrors, a front arm rest, an immobiliser, a stereo capable of handling an MP3 player, a delightful leather steering wheel, a trip computer and an astonishing array of potential seating positions in the back.
The rear seats, in fact, are so flexible that I managed to get three kids on them. And a full-sized trampoline in the boot.
Eventually, of course, we arrive at the styling. In the same way that you can discuss the merits of Gérard Depardieu for hours but at some point you have to discuss his nose.
Yes. It’s odd. I’ll grant you that. It looks like a cut and shut car. A mangled up blend of Postman Pat’s van, a Wendy house and a Lancia Stratos. But here’s the thing. I loved it. I thought it was unusual without being sweet. Striking without being daft.
I should also explain at this point that while most car makers offer only four colours – silver, silvery grey, greyish silver and grey – the Skoda brochure looks like it comes from Dulux. There’s a choice of five blues, two reds and two greens. Mine was olive metallic and it was great.
I’m procrastinating. And that’s because the Roomster (was it named after Marc Bolan’s lounge?) has a bit of an Achilles heel. It’s, um, not very nice to drive.
It should be fine. The front end is essentially from a VW Polo and the back from a Mark 4 Golf. But the steering is far too quick. You ease the wheel a nad and whoa, the whole thing darts left in a scuffle of tyre squeal and body roll. I liked the car so much I wanted to get used to it. But I never did.
And then there’s the engine. It’s a 1.6 litre VW unit but not one of their best. It’s rough, unwilling to rev and not that powerful. Perhaps the diesel would be better. I hope so because mechanically the only really good bit in my test car was the automatic Tiptronic gearbox.
Ordinarily this would be enough to render the whole car worthless. But sometimes the driving experience must play second fiddle to the whole ownership package.
That’s certainly the case with the Volvo XC90 diesel. It’s a dreadful car to drive, really, but it’s so clever and so well thought out we’re on our second. And about to buy a third.
The Roomster falls into this category. Yes, it’s wobbly and rough, but it’s extremely clever, well equipped and best of all it brought a great deal more light into my life than my new garden lamps. Which, incidentally, are now on eBay.
Vital statistics
Model Skoda Roomster Level 3, 1.6
Engine 1598cc, four cylinders
Power 105bhp @ 5700rpm
Torque 114 lb ft @ 3500rpm
Transmission Six-speed Tiptronic
Fuel 36.7mpg
CO2 185g/km
Acceleration 0-62mph: 12.1sec
Top speed 114mph
Price £13,585
Rating 
Verdict It shouldn’t be brilliant but it is
I just bought a new roomster3 1,9 TDI. Knowing the engine and quality from my previous VW and Skodas, this car is a pleasure to drive, useful and unique. With tuned engine of 140 HP it also compensates for a bit of a drag gain over Fabia.
I just wouldn't want any other car. as simply as that.
Aljaz, Kranj, Slovenia
After owning 4 VW and Skodas, and driving about 50 different cars on both sides of Atlantic, I am impatiently awaiting arrival of a new 1,9 TDI roomster to my garage.
Talk about special, unique, useful and "smart". Fun to drive? just chip tune the engine to 140 HP and keep smilin'! A great car! :D
Ales, Kranj, Slovenia
I bought R16's when folk fell on the floor in derision. Two Fiats and an Alfa and loved them. I have had VW's and now a Skoda. It is a little noisier than my son's Golf estate with its gutsy Diseasel engine but a splendid car. No A frames to block my view Marvellous. Picasso? Ugh
G Bruce, carlisle,
Mr. Clarkson,
I have to say I'm somewhat surprised to learn that you like the Roomster, since it's a sensible family car ;).
On the other hand, I've owned a 1.9 diesel Roomster for a year now (May 2008) and I must say that it's a pleasure to have to drive it to work every day.
It's a fun drive.
Karsten Pedersen, Ringsted, Denmark
I took a 1.4 TDi out for a test drive and liked how it drove. im now waiting for my new roomster to be delivered however saying that i opted for the petrol. but from what i made of the diesel its a good solid car. quick off the mark but then put onto the big open road seems like a jumbo at take-off.
Nice car though myids loved it so did i as i could put the baby in and when he started crying i simply pushed his seat more to the back. excellent
Gary, Daford, Kent
NO NO NO
This is not a good car. It lacks style, pace and equipment. If you cant afford a new car buy a decent second hand one but do not compromise your values for this poor example of a mini van with windows.
Raymondo, Glasgow, Scotland
The extra headroom in these cars is very useful if you want to put a baby or small child in the car without slipping a disc. I wouldn't have anything else.
Justin Murphy, Luxembourg,
Im surprised JC liked the roomster.
Im not sure on the petrol version but my 1.4 tdi 2 is a dream to use. it replaced my 1.9 Octavia and its got bags more room, easier to drive & quite a bit more power.
I did buy it as a family car & its great for that but also use it for trade shows etc & I can get loads of stuff in there as the seats fold up so nicely.
Yep its a bit funny looking but I liked that from the min I saw it
Alternative Soles, tyne & wear, UK
Jeremy,
I have to disagree....I have the 1900 turbo diesel Roomster and find it fun to drive. I average 10 mph faster around corners than the 406 I swapped in. The room inside is great for 4; we put the middle seat straight in the loft! Accelleration is good too, leaving the posers in their BMWs etc. standing at the lights.....Whats the difference between a bmw and a rose ? ....OH CANT TELL YOU.....Anyway I like the Roomster.....come over and try it....
martin, wrexham, wales
Re complicated mobile phones:
Jeremy, I too want a mobile phone which allows me to make phone calls. I don't even need it to receive calls as I never give anyone my number. I don't want it to take pictures (I already have a camera that I can't fathom), I can't do "texting" and why on earth would I ever want to listen to music on a phone? I have a perfectly good wireless for that.
And guess what? I found one - in Italy! It's made by Nokia and I was so excited to read your article in the Times Review this morning that I decided to write to you. Except your email contact is secret. Unless I want to subscribe to one of those awful celebrity contact sites who want to charge about a million dollars a month for a subscription - I only want to send one email......
Anyway, I thought I'd let you know exactly which Nokia I'd bought last year in Italy - but I can't. You see, Nokia decided not to print a model number on it - not anywhere. It was probably on the box, but I don't keep boxes. Sorry
John Ellis, Spalding, Lincs
"we know that you are biding your time until you are unlocked from the shackles of life by the blissful relief of death".
That sort of line is exactly why I will never stop reading Clarkson. I don't care if he is right or wrong. I love his self-righteouss, opinionated views.
Clarkson proves that despite the nanny state and the political correctness brigade, it is OK to hold your own view.
Hurrah!
Gavin Brain, Oswestry, Shropshire
Mr.Clarkson re your column in The Sunday Times 16th Sept
on the dreaded mobile phone, yes, yes, yes You are
absolutely right, it must be possible to produce a mobile phone
which is a phone, minus all the added bits of technology.
Thank you, maybe just maybe your comments will be picked
up and one of the technologically educated will make his
fortune on producing such a thing
lucy kihl
lucy Kihl , theberton, suffolk
Jeremy Clarkson is a washed-up has-been who doesn't deserve the media attention that his snivelling little minions pile onto him
paula, Bridport, England
As a Skoda Sales Consultant it's interesting to read not only Jermey's but other peoples views on what I consider to be a fantatstic MPV. The versatility with the rear seats is just what people love these days. There is a good range of engines with something for everyone. There's no doubt that it's very much a love ir hate it design - I call it 'the marmite car'. It appears to be very well priced compared to some other brands and the Germanic build quality and design shines through. I can't rate it highly enough and am garteful to Jeremy for writing this article. Thanks Jeremy.
Anthony Holt, Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire
In reply to RTF, Hull...'I once had a Rover build by British and it was the worst car I ever had' The result of generations of bad management, status quo and nepotism, which unfortunately is still going on.
Have a nice day
Elliot Jones, Oslo,
We test drove the smaller engined diesel. I really wanted to like this car. I think the styling is distinctive. The interior flexibility is great - good range of option for the rear seats, lots of room. Also a key attraction was the fact that both front seats are height adjustable - why do most manufacturers assume only the driver needs this - daft?
However the driving experience was a let down. Very gruff engine and the ride was nothing special. Not very comfortable.
If you want an 'different', well equipped, well made, roomy yet compact mini MPV, buy a second hand Nissan Almera Tino - cheaper than a new Roomster - for around £8-9K you could get a low mileage diesel Tino SVE with 6 speeed gearbox, rear parking camera and superb sat nav system with large colour screen. It will also be faster than the Roomster and still pretty economical.
Kevin Miller, Tonbridge,
Mr Clarkson is an amusing comic with some knowledge of cars. Sadly, his role is more of an entertainer than one who really earns his crust through testing cars. Enjoy the entertainment value and if you want facts and figures, with no drivel, subscribe to What Car.
Stefan, WImborne, UK
Great article, shame about the comments regarding spaniards
Emilio Gardeta, Madrid, Spain
Jeremy, having the bits delivered to your house & having to bolt them together to make a car isn't a new idea. Caterham have been doing that for decades. You ,Captain Slow & the Hamster made one on Top Gear.
Paul, Richmond,
Had one of these as a curtesy car to drive when my Octavia Vrs was off the road. I though it looked like one of those old invalid carriages but with 2 wheels at the front.
It was bright metallic blue with Roomster written in foot high letters along either side, I would have prefered the Cappucino beige to blend in to the background as I didn't want to be seen in it!
However my 2 kids loved it. You sit up high and get a good view of the road, there's plenty of room in the back for 2 and a centre armrest with cup holders. (The middle seat isn't full size) We drove into London to the science museum and the 1.4 diesel was ecomonical, quite nippy and agile.
As a city car for a family of four this makes a lot of sense.
Alan, Aylesbury,
I traded in my Mini Cooper for a Skoda Roomster 3, in bright blue metallic. I have to say it is extremely comfortable, which the Mini most certainly was not. The Roomster is extremely well built and so light and airy, and I find the steering very light for a diesel and a very pleasant drive. Honest John from the Daily Telegraph thinks its a good drive too!! I live down an unmade up dirt-track/road and also a single track road leading to it, and the Roomster is brilliant for country roads. I also have to transport around 2 large dogs (a Rhodesian Ridgeback and a M astiff) and its good for that too. You can get a really useful rubber mat to go in the boot to put you wet dogs in and your wellies etc. There is even a holder in the boot for your bottles of wine/milk etc. Go on go out and buy one, remember Skodas are VWs after all. I agree with Jeremy its brilliant although mine is a 1.9 diesel.
Lynne Harrington, Navestock. Brentwood, Essex.
Lynne Harrington, Navestock, Romford, Essex
I once had a Rover build by British and it was the worst car I ever had.
RTF, Hull,
Bought this car for my wife last October and it has been perfect - she likes the 'quirky' look but agree it isn't for everyone. We only have the small petrol version Roomster 2 - its not got much umpf but is an ideal run around town kind of car - kids like it and you can fit a load of stuff in the boot as well. Low insurance premium too and is generally a cheap car to run. Would recommend the car to anyone with young kids.
Dazza, BHM, UK
I have the the Skoda Roomster in the VW 1.9tdi diesel engine, its very smooth and light and much more nippy than one would expect. I actually traded in a Mini Cooper for the Roomster. Okay its not the prettiest of cars, but, it is different and extremely practical. Its excellent for me because I live down a dirt track/unmade up road, and then a single track made-up road. I also have to transport 2 large dogs about, so its excellent for me. Its also very well built, and with all the added gizmos, you couldn't ask for much more. In any event it is far more comfortable than the Mini ever was. I happen to think Jeremy is right about this one. Aim to be different and individual, and don't follow trends, well thats what I think anyway.
Lynne Harrington, Navestock, Romford, Essex
Agree with Jeremy, we run XC 90 diesel and XC 90 T6 petrol .Diesel is a horrid noisy gutless effort ,T6 is a thirsty a hell.Both chew front tyres but as a family car they are great ,enjoy while you can,as soon we will not be allowed this type of 4x4.
Nick Rea, Cape Town, South Africa
yep.. what a car we get three teenage kids.. a deer hound a border collie and a jack russel in ours. and ther's still room for a ruck sack or two. i love it. yes it looks different but i like to be different myself.
ian hainsworth, morecambe, lancashire
why do we always have to endure two thirds of drivel before we get to the actual car report?
fred, st michel deuzet, france
Enough stories about boring cars.
No more rental minivans or any other vans or SUV's...
Pleeeeese....:)
Gus, Los Angeles, USA / CA
A big part of Ford Focus, Fiesta, Peugeot 207, Renault Laguna... are "MADE IN SPAIN", so I don´t agree with you.
Daniel, Valencia, Spain
Postman Pats' van - maybe, a Wendy House - yep, I'll go with that. But a Lancia Stratos? Jeremy, which bit? Indeed, have you ever seen one? The Stratos is automotive porn. This is too bland to even be "Readers' Wives"!
Darren, Sheffield , England
Cars assembled in Spain comply with all quality standards and controls designed and applied by the German owners.
Statistically, there is no difference at all regarding quality between the same cars assembled in Germany or Spain.
Ignorance or prejudice, that is the difference, but on the writers part.
Arthur Gillian, Malaga, Spain
Signed up for the Driving newsletter by mistake but have not de-listed because I so enjoy Jeremy's writing. In any case I am pining for a new car to replace my Honda, of late groaning and squeaking. But alas, we in the cold Canadian north are victim to the torturously dull imaginations of domestic car makers and the exorbitant prices slapped on imports. We are left to gaze longingly at the cars on European roads, with their clever designs, low sticker prices, and (often) more environmentally intelligent performance, and wish for sunnier days (and less snow!). Instead of enjoying such fun and innovative designs we have to listen to the whiny shrieks of GM, Ford and Chrysler and other deadbeats crying over their losses, all the while building unimaginatively bland, mechanically challenged and all around crap cars. No surprise Honda et al are raking it in here, and customers are waiting months for the new Smart car. We need Skoda and friends here. Anybody listening out there?!?
Francoise Vulpe, Toronto, Canada
from the front it looks like they copied the shape of the mazda 2 - nothing new on the basic design. from the side it looks like a french utility type renault/citroen
john, london, uk
Now we know that Jeremy is a toff, the accent and deep voice made me suspicious and now he has confessed to going to boarding school. As we all know boarding school turns out people who are 'nice but dim'. As JC seems quite unable to assemble anything, can he be one of them? Maybe he just never had Lego when he was young. Sorry Jeremy
billcarr, Turku, Finland
Everything Jeremy C says is right. A surprisingly excellent car which my wife loves and I like too. Her's is a 1.9 diesel and goes OK for what it is. Not sure if the steering's too quick - haven't found that myself, but the brakes are super-powerful; considering its lead brick shape and height I thought it rolled rather less on corners on its quite wide alloys and quite low profile tyres than the other cars in its class (like the barely-saleable Scenic she had before, which is by any comparison quite dreadful and is now relegated to general hack status until the scrapyard calleth it in.) And you have to like the DS-Citroen-style swivelling lights and the way the fog lights come on to illuminate the ditch on either side at low speed by night. All very cunning stuff, and fun. For the reasons JC gives, it might hold together too.
Bill Brown, Montmartin-en-Graignes, France
That title is a bit confusing it says "It’s a dreadful car to drive, really, but it’s so clever and so well thought out we’re on our second. And about to buy a third, Jeremy Clarkson" on the front page and first I thought you've bought a Skoda but you meant your XC90.
Good review. And thanks for mentioning Finland.
Lauri, Helsinki, Finland
"...because the Roomster (was it named after Marc Bolan’s lounge?)" - brilliant !
Aard Uhrmann, Speelman, Norway
I've always found the Roomster to be an interesting ride, much in the same way as the Berlingo. While neither are particularly good-looking, much less fun to drive, they at the very least "make sense" when it comes to hauling things around.
Being in the United States, you're left with minimal options for doing that. On the one hand, you've got the Chevrolet HHR Pannel, and on the other you've got the Volkswagen Jetta SportWagen. Pretty different choices, pretty different prices, pretty different driving experiences.
I'm not an advocate for brining Skoda to the United States, but this is one model that even if re-badged as a VW, would truly "make sense" in the market. That is, if people can get over its rather awkward looks...
Brad Y, Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA
No, sorry Jeremy, it's just plain ugly.
Trevor, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Don't bother with the MP3 player - just get a stereo with a USB port and a 4G memory stick (twenty quid on Amazing) - all the songs you could ever want at a 10th of the price of any comparable bit of kit. USB is where it's at daddy.
Huw Sayer, Norwich, England
I don't know anything about cars, but I really enjoyed reading this article. Jeremy Clarkson is a brilliant writer.
Carmelo Mangano, Linguaglossa, Italy
Sounds as if they've come quite a way since the days of :
Q. What do you call a Skoda with twin exhausts?
A. A wheelbarrow!
Andrew Pearson, Montreal, Canada
Clarkson must have been wearing beer googles when he wrote this.
Its a hideous looking car with a style parallel of pensioners wearing trainers!
Mike, Sussex,
Ok, so fix the fidgety steering and shove in a better engine from another one of their cars. not exactly hard, hop to it VW.
Vaggeli, Brisbane, Australia
with 105bhp and a 0-62 time of 12.1s, it must be one or more of the following: rather heavy/ aerodynamically not the best/ not terribly well tuned... back in the day, i remember a Felicia could get to 62mph in 13.1s (from 68bhp)... it's fine having all those luxuries, but they're heavy... so you need a better engine. though from what Jeremy says about the handling you'd then need new suspension and steering too... verdict: more work needed.
Marco, bhm, uk
Get a chimenea they're simpler and work much better. Also, if you use firewood it's better for the environment than gas.
H Tran, Sydney, AU