Quiet City & Dance Party, USA is a double-bill of vérité films that bear as much relation to real life as Big Brother. Aaron Katz directs these irritating teen romances with the sophistication of a school lollipop man.

In Quiet City (78 mins), the unemployed Charlie comes to the rescue of a young woman lost on the New York subway. He is chubby and shy. She is homeless and fond of tight sweaters. They spend 24 hours improvising how grateful they are to have met for entirely different reasons.

Dance Party, USA (66 mins), is another masterpiece of stilted teen realism – or, more accurately, total fantasy. Gus is a nauseating 17-year-old with the conversational skills of Beavis and Butt-Head. Jessica is an intelligent beauty. Why they gel at a fireworks party is a tedious mystery.

15, 144 minutes

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